Wednesday, October 7, 2009

On the topic of best friends

Mandy is my actual, functional, best friend. She is my best friend from childhood who has known me the longest and to this day, knows my deepest darkest secrets. I rely on her to be my rock, my cheerleader, my confidant and my partner in crime on a regular basis. We haven't always seen each other much more often than once or twice a year since she is a bit of a rambler (or has a history of being one) and has spent time living elsewhere, but we will always be on that level with each other. We are each a part of the others' families and we know each other in and out. She can see right through me and she isn't scared to call me out. Our husbands were fast friends and are hilariously, two peas in a pod. If she calls me out on something, I know it is for real and that I need to really think about what she said, because she knows me deep down to my soul. I'd give her a lung, a kidney or my bone marrow, and she knows it. She'd fly to Mexico in the middle of the night to kick some corrupt government booty and bail me out of jail. That's just the way we are. She has a couple of other best friends, and she would do that for them, too. The few other people that she counts as best friends have really different personalities, like apples and oranges, just like my short list.

I also have best friends from college that I rarely see but will always consider best friends. They are not all at the same point in their lives, so I can't hold it against them that our lives don't always correspond these days. I have two children; they either have zero or live an hour away. I have been married 8 years today; they either haven't walked down that aisle of life yet or they didn't marry someone that makes an effort to be a great friend to my husband. They still mean the world to me, but they aren't really filling that void at this point and they will never compare to someone that has grown up with me and is truly here for me when I need her. I know we'll be friends til we die, though, and that at one point, my life revolved around them, so they will remain what I consider a close friend or even one of my best friends.

I also have a few friends that are by far, my best friends in my momtourage. Shea and Jen are my main homegirls. I love them to death and I rely on them for certain things. I also know we will be friends outside of the mom role. I think Shea and I will be stalking Donny Whalberg at a retirement home, but she had two best friends before I ever met her, Juli and Sara, and that doesn't offend me. We're get each other on a different level. We are parents but still people. I couldn't make it through the daily grind without them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that its hard to feel like you have hurt one person by calling another person your best friend when you don't mean any harm or insult, because I can't even begin to list all of the other people that are important to me. I didn't write this for any specific reason but just because I regularly see that as women, we (not meaning anyone listed here) don't always think it through when we get our feelings hurt. Agreed?

1 comment:

KateA said...

I have a friend like that - My Heather! Best friends since 3rd grade, when she was the new girl and I had to be the one to tel her you can't wear hair barrettes and a headband or socks with sandals. The only other competition is my sister and even she would call My Heather in a bind!!!!!