Monday, August 17, 2009

I am officially signed up to be a room mom.

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster! I've felt elated that my studious little girl was finally going to start kindergarten because I absolutely know that she thrives in a stimulating environment, but I've also had moments of completely inconsolable sobbing at the notion of letting go. Today was the day. She started kindergarten.

She wore a precious little brown pleated hem A-line dress from The Gap with her new high tops and little bow barrette. She carried her Baby Bambi backpack and she colored her morning work like a champ. I know she will do so well in the world of academia. It just takes some getting used to when you've taken care of this person from the time they were a little 5 lb peanut until now...virtually every single day.

Here you see Miles listening to "The Kissing Hand" just before we left.

When I picked her up, she came bouncing to the car, exclaimed what an awesome day she had and asked if she could return tomorrow. That alone made everything all better. It isn't that I don't want her in school yet. In fact, a big part of me is overwhelmed with relief. I love my girls and we have a ball, but disciplining your child is heartbreaking, and when you stay at home, you discipline, discipline, discipline all day long sometimes. Some days, I am ready to strangle someone by lunchtime. My children are generally well mannered, and maybe that is why I stress so much over bad behavior when I see it. Staying at home is a huge blessing and I wouldn't trade it for anything but it is a job that allows no breaks or lunch hours, so you can imagine how trying it is; furthermore, at times your 'customers' at this job beg and pull on you left and right whenever they please.

I am not good at goodbyes, so the thought of taking her in and leaving was extremely hard for me. I have spent the last almost six years taking care of her every need, going to story time, treating her to the zoo and lunch at 'the pizza parlor' and celebrating birthdays at Walt Disney World. For every stressful moment at home, there has been one of pure bliss. Just about the only way to describe ending your time as the hands on care giver for a child is bittersweet. You are relieved to no longer have to handle everything but you are in a panic that you won't be handling everything!

When we arrived at school, we happened to walk up just as Miles' cousin was walking in. What a God thing! It took my mind off of wanting to cry and it made Miles' day!

All in all, the first day is over and I made it without crying again all day! We already have our clothes ready for tomorrow and our game plan set for the morning routine. Wish us luck and pray for success at school for Miles, please!


Lindsay said...

Look at her adorable First Day of School outfit! I think I cried for the first 2 weeks of dropping Logan off...Finally, this year, no tears. It will get easier and now you can have some good Lola time. By the way, my lil bro is in 4th grade there. They love it

Carmom said...

It's always hard with your first. I wouldn't change being at home with mine for anything either but there are days I wish I were somewhere that my kids were not. I still remember dropping Gabe off at daycare the first time and crying my eyes out. It was better with Abby going off to Kindergarten this year. It helped a lot that I knew the teachers, principle and the routine with her. Hang in there and good luck with being the room mom!! My thoughts and prayers will be with you as you adjust to this new beginning.

jenkensing said...

I'm so glad that she likes school so much! What a great little student. Good job Mama. <3